By: Michael Santonato
Remember this and your journey will be easier
Like any relationship ‘the give and take’ is very important. It’s a balance that is very important to maintain. A balance between giving and receiving. And while you may be thinking, ‘this sounds like something I’ll need later in the relationship phase,’ HOLD ON. It is just as important at this stage (dating), and the sooner you learn it and implement it, the better things will be later on.
So what am I talking about? Reciprocal recognition, continual appreciation, giving and receiving: These are all fancy names for ‘Share the love’. With your new partner that you are discovering and getting to know, share the love. What I mean is compliment them, make them feel good, do plenty of little things for them. Notice things about them. Tell them what you like about their character, the way they carry themselves, the habits they have. Tell them things they are doing which you are enjoying. And do it in a way, in a setting that is comfortable, relaxed, where it will be well received. And spread it out. Don’t say it all at once, or they might think you are obsessing over them. And that might hinder the whole thing. I would hope this is basic information, but some people just don’t know it or don’t do it yet.
Now ideally, they are doing some of this too, and showing you some love as well. This would be a very good sign that things are moving along as they should and that they are into you as well. Your job here is to receive the compliments and admiration, and be flattered/thankful. Not even be flattered, but be a ‘yes’ to their flattery. This person does not have to say anything nice about you, and if they do, great.
Sometimes it takes great courage for people to say things, so receive them well. It actually makes them feel good about what they are saying if you receive it well. If they are not saying good things about you, then maybe its a sign to move on. You want to be with someone who can adore you and make you feel good. And receiving compliments and admiration feels good.
And while you’re doing it now, during the dating stage, you will be establishing a pattern within yourself to give in the relationship and receive during the relationship too. Now, some people just love to give. And that’s what they do, and that fulfills them, and that’s great! But even they need to be sustained by love. And some people, well some people just love to take, take, take, and then take some more.
Don’t be that person. That will not get you far… And it won’t get you liked very much either. Friends might actually secretly dislike this part about you even now. Why? Because it’s kind of exhausting to be around someone who wants to take without giving. At least it can be. The good news is, there is ALWAYS MORE LOVE TO GIVE.
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